#and so it can get overwhelming .... but im still having fun so we're moving on...

[xxplastic-cubexx]

good thing abt comics is that they keep getting pumped out esp for x men so i think you’ll be pretty satiated fora while

ok but the thing is the comics also have to be good ... and like ... charles has to be in them vjeaLKJALKJVAELKJ

[definitelynotshouting]

fic writer interview!

shamelessly yoinking from @karliahs bc this looks fun as hell to do :]

How many works do you have on AO3?

32 fics total, between my main and rough draft pseud!! which feels like a really small amount, honestly-- i think my private WIPs list is MUCH higher 😂😂😂😂 if we're counting my very first (and very abandoned) ao3 acct too, then that number is bumped up to 35!!

What's your total AO3 word count?

163,211, and a good 65k of that was written this year somehow??? according to my statistics ._. lowkey crazy to think about

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

paid for it with all of my blood (BNHA | 8,452)

at times so self destructive (BNHA | 4,554)

lost in the dark (he's got a heavy heart) (HC/LIFE | 3,618)

or we can just have conversation (MSA | 1,834)

the art of rawgabbitry (BNHA | 1,609)

if youve been following me since my bnha fics in 2018 you deserve a veteran's discount

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i used to answer every single comment i got, honestly, unless it came by years after i posted it-- the only reason i dont as much anymore is because it gets REALLY overwhelming for me to respond to everyone after the initial barrage 😅😅 the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak etc etc. but i do read every comment and appreciate them SO SO MUCH, and whenever i find one particularly moving or want to just reassure people im still working on something i'll respond to those :]

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

not counting the wips that just never got finished and left off before their main shit could resolve, id say at times so self destructive (BNHA)-- i mean i LITERALLY ended it with izuku potentially dying 😭😭😭😭

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

tbh i dont think i write happy endings so much as i write hopeful, bittersweet, or open-ended ones-- i tend to like catharsis more than fluff when it comes down to it. but out of my fluff fics i think honey it's starting to storm (HC) is one of the genuinely sweetest ive written. my runner-ups on that would probably be when the smoke does finally pass (TMA) and or we could just have conversation (MSA) :]

Do you write crossovers?

not typically, and ive never published any, but i am definitely not immune to them 😂😂😂😂 i think my most niche crossover ive actually written (never to see the light of day) was a Nine Lives of Chloe King and Supernatural fic that was the definition of self-indulgent rot. only a little less niche than that was a Mortal Instruments and Supernatural crossover (theres a running theme here lol) lying in snippets on an ancient google doc in my oldest gmail acct. reread that one recently and its shockingly coherent for being written in like. 2016. id even call it decent (though theres a lot id change up if i were writing it now)

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

idk if it'd be considered hate but once i wrote a fic inspired by someone else's when i was very new to ao3, let them know (i didnt know about the "inspired by" option back then), and they got mad at me in my comments section because in their words, "its better than mine" 😭😭😭😭💥💥💥💥💥💥

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

YOU COULD SAY THAT

as for what kind, honestly whatever strikes my fancy-- usually character/relationship studies, or just a fun focus on character intimacy. love 2 be asexual<3 love 2 write asexual sex<3

i had a discussion with my qpp recently about how in all honesty the smut i write is pretty tame, its just the character emotions written behind it that makes it feel a bit deranged. smth smth scarian is a chemical explosion. u understand

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge!!!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

yeppers!! the art of rawgabbitry (BNHA) received a translation to Russian, which i always found a bit funny because rawgabbitry is. one of my least favorite works ive ever written, if only for the type of comments it tended to receive back in the day 😭😭😭😭

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

ive never managed it honestly-- i get a bit precious about my process, which can make it hard to collaborate on that level. but its something ive always wanted to grow enough as a writer to try :]

What's your all-time favorite ship?

not so much of a singular OTP type of guy as i have favorite pairings per fandom im in-- that being said rn its scarian :P

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

pretty much all of my dsmp wips honestly. i may surprise myself someday, but for now i just have zero urge to actually finish any of them

What are your writing strengths?

like my pal karliahs im gonna rip these from the comments ive received 😅😅😅 but id definitely say imagery is my strongest skill!! i have a very strong imagination, and tend to see fic scenes as movie scenes in my head which i then transcribe into written format. id like to say im also really skilled at characterization and realistic dialogue that captures character voices very well!! and frankly i just love emotional realism so much i cant NOT write it, its always leaking into everything i do

What are your writing weaknesses?

i tend to get a little too funky and abstract with my descriptions sometimes-- that can work for some scenes, but grounding everything so that it feels more real and makes actual sense to the reader is something i often have to do on the second, third, and final passes

also to every person who has to crack open a thesaurus to understand what i write, i am so fucking sorry😭💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

no thoughts beyond if its not a language you're proficient in you should probably get that checked over by a native speaker, just in case :P

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

fairy tail..... ff.net was a dark place

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

crying sobbing wailing as i desperately beg my brain to start writing that post-canon siffrin and odile relationship study. unfortunately i dont think i can have more than one longfic on my docket at a time so it shrimply must wait

What's your favorite fic you've written?

to the surprise of absolutely nobody, i'd have say lost in the dark (he's got a heavy heart) (HC/LIFE) :]

No obligation, but im tagging: @raichett, @kayawolfhorse, @boonbeenblade, @sillyfairygarden, and @grimfey !!! And anyone else who wants to do this ofc :]]]❤️❤️❤️❤️

[mommypieck]

༺ ♱ ༻ aot threesome - 7/10

✿ ymir x reader x historia

"you're still a virgin?" ymir chuckles as she wraps her arms around historia. your cheeks are burning at her intensive stare and you know that if you admit it to her, she will make fun of you. historia gives you a warm smile, "it's okay if you have never been intimate."

you smile at her words, your palms sweating in your lap. ymir's eyes scan you but you're unable to guess what she's thinking.

"fine," she says, "we're gonna fuck you." historia and you choke at her words. all the red runs to your cheek and you sit with your mouth open, looking at them.

"are you serious, ymir?" historia asks. she's not against the idea but she's scared how ymir is going to take it. she gets jealous at everyone so it's unusual for her to request something like this.

"i just want to help her. imagine someone finding out." ymir doesn't look any of you in the eyes, her eyes flickering everyone but at you.

"i am okay with it." historia smiles at you. she takes one of your hands in her hand, catching ymir's attention.

" no touching hisu." ymir warns, stepping between you and historia.

"i am okay with it." you say in a tiny voice, but smiling at both of them.

"okay, let's get you undressed." ymir spits out quickly, pawing at your clothes. she almost tears your blouse off of your body. her hands grip your sides, ripping your pants off. historia lays by your side, brushing your hair and planting a kiss to your cheek. you aren't sure what to think about this situation but you're more than happy when ymir finds your bundle of nerves. she massages your clit over your panties, clearly enjoying how you react. historia holds your body down so that you don't squirm on the bed as she whispers sweet things in your ear. you have touched yourself before but having someone else touch you in a completely different situation. the pleasure feels more intense and the whole act seems more intimate.

"you're so sweet." historia praises you, running her hands over your covered nipples. you yelp at her touch, and by her hum you guess that she likes the noises you make. she shuffles so that your head lies in her lap while she swiftly unclasps your bra, your boobs falling free. you see ymir lick her lips at her sigh and she follows historia by taking off your panties. nervousness suddenly hits you as you lay naked in front of your two friends while they focus on your every move.

"how many fingers can you take?" ymir suddenly asks, looking you straight in the eyes. she laughs when you admit that you have never taken more than one finger. her fingertips gaze your opening, gathering the wetness before she presses one finger in. the finger goes in easily due to your wetness and she presses it right into your sweet spot. you moan loudly at the gesture, making her raise her eyebrow.

"you have never hit your g-spot?" you nod your head. you have always thought that penetration only meant pleasure for men but ymir's skilled fingers proved you otherwise.

"im gonna put in another one." she says and you wince when you feel the stretch of her second finger. it goes it easily than you expected and soon she's slamming her fingers in and out.

"ymir," historia whines, "i really wanna sit on y/n's face."

your eye go wide at hisu's wish but you are not against the idea.

"i have never done this." you say, looking at hisu as she hovers over your face.

"i know," she smiles,"but you have to learn how to eat pussy so that you can please your partner."

before you can reply, historia puts her whole weight on your face. you lap for breath but manage to stick your tongue out to lap at her folds.

"focus on my clit." she whines, holding your hair to guide your better. you suck her clit into your mouth, noting now she reacts. your play with her clit for a little bit before licking a stripe from her clit to her opening. she's already super wet and her wetness tastes like honey on your tongue.

you feel overwhelmed by both of them that you don't even notice that ymir added another fingers. she smirks as your juices cover her whole hand. ymir's not the only person with wetness all over herself because you feel historia's juices running down your face.

the more you lap at her pussy and the more ymir fingers you, you find yourself at the brink of your orgasm.

"im gonna cum." you mumble against historia's pussy, making her moan from the vibrations.

"i think you can cum since it's your first time." ymir says, pressing all of her digits against your spot while stroking your clit. orgasm hits you like a wave and you lay shaking on the bed. it feels like too much but historia refuses to get off of your face.

"come on," she says, grabbing your hair, "make me cum."

your lips envelop her clit and you suck on it as hard as you can. she comes cumming into your mouth with a high pitched whine. all of her juices fill your mouth and you happily swallow them.

"let me taste her." ymir says as she brings your face to hers to lick hisu's juices off of your face.

"that was nice." historia says, smiling at both of you.

"yeah," ymir admits, "but next time i wanna eat historia's pussy and then fuck you with our strap."

"next time?" you and historia ask in unison.

"oh shut up."

[actualbird]

mental eelness musings. not depressing (i think) just. i figured out a thing.

taking care of yourself becomes very very difficult when youre afflicted with self loathing. like, thats obvious. on my very bad days, i'll think "everything sucks and i hate myself but i havent eaten in a while i should get on that to make things suck less" but the immediate internal counter-attack is "WHY would i wanna feed The Me. we hate that guy!" rinse repeat for every other possible Thing That Needs Doing That Would Make Stuff Suck A Bit Less. self loathing. i hate that guy that needs to be taken care of by me, i hate the me thats not taking care of that guy we hate taking care of. it's an endless ouroborous of hatred and continuing misery. and ive seen others who have found the method of imagining a younger version of yourself to be helpful, that self kindness becomes easier when they picture themselves as a child who yearns for that kindness their present self can give to themselves, via this method. thats really great and im glad that works for people, but it doesnt work for me, because i also hate that kid. that kid thats me. i think hes an idiot, i wouldnt be nice to him or care for him because i hate him, and he hates me too because im not nice to him nor care for him, and so we're back at square one. because my self loathing still recognizes the Child as Me, and anything thats me is to hated by me

what ended up being more helpful to me in taking care of myself, in my experience, was not thinking of myself at all.

which sounds bad but like.....so most of the people on this blog know that ive got luke plushie (and other plushies too) and i love that silly little boy with all my heart. there is of course the glaring obviousness that i relate to luke as a character and project onto him, i love him despite the fact there are parts of himself that i see in him. yeah thats deffo a factor, that i managed to trick my brain into loving a thing thats ostensibly certain parts of me, but by proxy. though thats not the thing i wanna talk about,

im talking about luke plushie specifically because hes a tangible object. so like, i take care of him. i like taking care of him. he brings me joy even if hes just a plushie and this sounds very childish but i like to do things that will make him happy; i'll keep my desk clean and orderly so his spot on it is kept tidy, i'll take a break from working to have coffee with him placed by close cuz it's like hes taking a break too, i'll go out sometimes not because i particularly want to but because i think it'd be fun to bring him out and that he'll have a nice time and i can take pictures to chronicle the day.

voila, i managed to do Things That Make Stuff Suck A Bit Less. i dont let my desk become an overwhelming mess that becomes a detriment to my mood, i get an ingestible substance in my system every once in a while due to the coffee with plushie routine, and i avoid holing up and isolating myself at home because i want luke plushie to have a nice lunch out.

theres my cat too, gato, whos actually a better example because hes an actual living creature. he likes to cuddle up to me whenever im outside in the garden, and that means he gets me to see the sun even on days i dont want to move. he likes the cuddles and i like giving the cuddles because i like him. me getting up from what couldve been the start of a depressive episode was halted in the process of that, because gato wants his cuddles. and i like giving that to him.

another thing is im usually outside with gato whenever i take a smoke break, and there are days i'll chain smoke an entire pack in one sitting because i hate myself and destroying the health of the person i hate is thing that i want to do because i hate myself. but i cant do that very much now. because gato wants his cuddles so hes close to me outside, and when theres too smoke around him, his face scrunches up in dismay. i dont want to make him uncomfortable or give him secondhand smoke. because i like him. if me hurting the person i hate comes with the caveat of also hurting the cat i love, then the hate takes a backseat. i love my cat more. i love my silly little plushie more.

my point is that my self loathing is a horridly self obsessed creature. which is why thinking of different "versions" of myself doesnt help me very much, because it stays within the internal realm of me, the thing i hate. whats helped is external things that are not me, and loving those things more than hating myself. for this to work, i cant feed into the self loathing's internality. it cant be me. it has to be someone else.

this is deffo not like, a cure all or whatever (if it was then i shld be much uhhhhhhhhhh better SDFVKSDHFKSDJH). but it helps, especially with the more mundane self care things. like, this gets me feeding myself, that bastard i hate so much, because shut up we're putting that on hold because it's been too long since ive shared a snack with luke plush, so we're having a goddamn snack with him because itll make him happy.

[shadykingsalad]

I kind of hate existing it sucks. I especially!! Hate periods!! Is awful,

My mom expects me to do physically taxing stuff like. Idk even just unloading the dishwasher, standing and unloading things makes me out of breathe so I feel like I'm about to fall over at any second and my hands shake like i wil drop and break our ceramic dishes. She wabts me to go outside and move furniture and im over here about to cry because standing and writing my math equations down is also makingedizzy ans shaky to losing my balance. Its hard 5o talk and she rips the words from my throat because she hates when we dont perform neurotypical and everything is much more overwhelming and she says if the pain meds dont work you juet have to deal with it so im going to do my fucking math homework while i take a five hour long bath i guess because thats the only thing i know that makes my skin hurt less but then she told me we have to go outside to move furniture and i cant even do my math homework i am trying so hard to make this work i want to take a break but she will be mad and she just yelled at us yesterday for being lazy and not respecting her efforts to keep the house nice but the only way we can be not tired is to go to bed at eight at night but we hav3 to help our baby brother with homework when he gets home and that rakes hours and have to eat dinner with family so theres no time for anything fun because we always have homework too and shes mad necause we're lazy so we have to go outside and move things but it hurts just sitting here blmy bones still hurt and i really dont want to do this she knows it hurts the doctors literally told her low iron hurts or somethjnf i forgot exactly what th4y said but its not helpful to physical things and she STILL expects us tp do things and we have been almost entirely on top of school work to not turn anything in late and its still not enough what does she want from me!!!! I havejt had enough energy to talk to my favorite friends and chosen family because of how much i have been doing and she still thinks im a lazy piece of shit and i just cant keep doing this everything hurts!!! I want to leave but college will be probably the same awful but at least i can rest sometimws maybe. This mf still wont make us our appoibtmebt to see doctor so we can get solutions or somethkng to functuon better and its OUR fault???? She can be nice sometimes she bought us like three cans of tea so we had something to drink recebtly because water makes our stomach hurt and sbe bought a different type of milk recently and it tastes bad so that was nice of her but she us unavcomaodating a lotand it makes me feel bad for hating her sometimes but i judt cant keep doing this it feels like my bones are rottinh

[shrxmps]

Hiii, can I request something smutty with Eddie where they go to lovers lake and go skinny dipping? With she/her pronouns please and thank you❤️

note: i literally had to google what lovers lake because i forgor💀 not proof read (its nearly 1AM as im typing this) also i hope this is what u meant by smutty because i kinda went all out LMAODISJS hope u enjoy <33 (and please do not actually have sex in a lake you could catch diseases, and water makes it harder for friction to happen)

warnings: public sex, degrading, c*mming inside reader

ko-fi | ao3

"Come on, are you shy or what?" Eddie chuckled, throwing off his shirt on the nearest rock before going to undo his belt.

Well, this wasn't the strangest thing you and Eddie had done, but it was still something new. And, you were kinda shy, even though he has seen your body countless times.

"Someone could see us, Eddie," you said, contradictory to what you were doing, removing your pants as you spoke.

"And?" Eddie responded, having removed his underwear and accesories a long time ago, sitting casually with his... limp dick in front of you. (im so sorry for this)

"Um," you said, embarrassed, trying to look away from his.. you know, "People could think we're doing... something else."

Eddie came up to you and unclasped your bra, sticking his mouth on your neck for a brief second to kiss it sloppily, sending chills up your spine. Next, he slowly removed your panties, toying with the waistband before getting down on his knees to pull them down.

"This reminds me of something," he chuckled, getting up to put your bra and panties near the rest of your clothes, grabbing your hand to guide you towards the lake.

You both giggled, entering the cold water slowly, clenching your teeth and hoping you won't drown today. After you accommodated with the water temperature, you began splashing around and playing, laughing loudly while pulling each other under the water.

"This is so fun, I don't know why we've never done this before!" you exclaimed, going up to your boyfriend, who was leaning against a rock wall circling the lake, to rest on his chest.

"Um... I think you can feel why we don't really do this," he said, his cheeks reddening up as you looked at him.

Yep. He was hard. Like, rock hard. You could feel him throbbing as you pressed your body against his. You contemplated on what you should do given the circumstances. I mean, he was hot, you were also aroused at that moment, but anyone could have walked in on you. But maybe, the risk is what made it fun.

You guided his member towards your aching hole, Eddie attaching his mouth to yours while his hands ran up your body, squeezing your boobs and ass, before lifting you up to switch positions so you were now the one leaning on the cold wall.

Wrapping your legs around his waist, he started moving swiftly in and out of you, trying to push deeper inside you with each thrust while his mouth sucked purple bruises on your neck. Soft moans left your mouth, trying to muffle them with your hand as Eddie quickened his pace and rubbed fast circles around your clit.

"I hope someone's watching us, so they can see how much of a slut you are," he breathed into your ear, clenching around him at his filthy words.

You could only moan as a response, feeling his tip abusing your G-spot as the a knot began forming into your stomach. Sweat was dripping all over both of your bodies, and Eddie's hungry look in his eyes could tell you he was also close, and wanted to finish inside you more than ever.

"I'm cumm--," you tried to say, but were interrupted by a string of curse words and moans leaving your mouth as the overwhelming sensation washed over you. With a couple of final thrusts, Eddie painted your walls white with his seed, pushing himself deep inside you while panting and groaning around your mouth.

Pulling away and looking at each other, you both grinned ear to ear, laughing before getting out of the lake to get dressed. It was going to be a long night, indeed.

[snowybitch1237]

In your opinion, how long would team snakemouth + team Maki + team slacker + team mothiva last if they had to fight ghost, hornet, and hollow. How fast would the entire group get steamrolled?

Oo! Fun question that makes me think

They'd probably put up a pretty good fight! Especially team Maki and Slacker since both hit like trucks (so does Holly, but I'll get to that in a second) Team Mothiva would probably be the first to get picked off, considering you beat them twice in game, so I guess they'd be the weakest out of the four? And while Zasp is fast, idk if he's quite as fast as Hornet or fast enough for Holly's teleporting. And Mothiva is wet paper at hand to hand combat.

Kabbu's weapon being his horn is probably an issue, seeing as the siblings use metal weapons that are probably made to get through shell. And seeing as most bugs aren't wearing armor, and those that are in HK you typically beat the shit out of them until they reveal the fleshy parts (False Knight) or those with shields you have to move fast enough to get around the shield.

And Kabbu, my dear, your horn is not made of metal.

Leif has the slight advantage of using mainly magic so he can stay away from the worst of the fight (same with Mothiva, another magic user, and Yunna), but I'm not sure ice would deter the siblings too too much. (Especially if we're going with my long fic where Ghost shares a body with Radi) and idk how Vi would hold up. Probably not that great. To use her weapon she has to fling it, which means it can be broken or caught when she does so, and then she's out of a weapon.

Maki himself has the misfortune of using a piece of plastic as a sword, against three bugs all using metal weapons. Team Maki and Slacker im not gonna get that far into considering I've never beaten them.

Now to the siblings

I'm gonna go with my full grown Ghost for this.

So, the Ghost has the same fighting style I do, which is hit as fast and hard as you can, tank some hits if you have the masks. And if you get overwhelmed. Descending Dark everything.

Considering none of the Bugaria bugs have AOE spells (to the best of my memory) or at least not super strong ones, both Holly and Ghost each have one AOE spell. Hornets is smaller, but id imagine it'd still really hurt to get caught up in thread that's whipping around like crazy.

But with both Ghost and Holly being decently heavy magic users as well as melee combatants, and using both rather fluidly, it'd probably take a while to figure out the tells between a blade coming for your face or a spell. Especially if you're trying to focus on taking one of them down and the other either blindsides you or uses a spell. There's also the fact that both are tall and aside from maybe going for the fleshy part of their joints, most of their vulnerable points are above your head. Especially Holly with the missing arm.

There's also Ghost's nail arts, which if they're already really tall and probably wield a weapon taller than you, are terrifying to see, especially cyclone slash. So they could probably hop away from the fight for a moment for whatever reason, charge up an attack, and then suddenly they'd be in the middle of the fight and probably hitting sever bugs with one swipe.

Holly also has some generally large, sweeping swipes that would probably hit several bugs, as well as the ability to teleport. The teleporting and Ghost just generally being able to dash through attacks would probably throw you off pretty quick.

Hornet is the non magic user of the three, which isn't really too big of a deal cause all three are mainly melee fighters. She has the joy of setting up traps on the fly. And while Ghost can fly, she'd probably wind up being mostly airborne in this fight. With there being areas she can probably haul herself up off the ground, it probably wouldn't be too surprising for her to not be there one second, and suddenly someone is nearly speared the next second. But also it would be amusing if she could wrap her string around someone and use that to toss them, maybe to Ghost or Holly.

Both her and Holly will occasionally block and parry hits, the siblings mostly focus on trying to get hit as little as possible, and just having to deal with it when they do get hit.

(I would ramble on Hornet more but I've been largely avoiding SilkSong trailers cause I would like to go into it as blind as possible.)

Now the Bugaria bugs are probably tankier, seeing as dodging isn't an option in game and you just block hits. So the siblings would most likely have to hit, be blocked, and then move fast enough to get an actual hit in before their attacks can be blocked again. And the teams have the virtue of being, well, teams, and having stronger moves that rely on working with each other while the siblings tend to be loners and are probably more competitive with each other.

All that said, the Teams would put up a good fight! But they'd still get steamrolled faster than their normal fights. After all, this is ten against three.

But it's ten against two godlings, one with ages of protecting a dead kingdom against thieves and infected bugs that have no issue hitting as hard as possible. The other godling being born and raised and trained by the kingdoms best knights to contain an angry, bitter goddess, and even when infected, still had the strength to fight back against her.

And also against the young god of gods, who ascended when much smaller and weaker. And is also a certified gremlin.

This is all negated if someone breaks Ghost's mask and let's out the Lord of Shades. Then everyone has a whole nother problem.

[alri-xo]

The Purple One (BuckyxPregnant!Reader)

A/N: Hi everybodyyyyy I hope y'all are doing great and yes. I made a thing and I feel sorta proud of myself becos like... It looks adorable in my opinion and it makes me feel a certain way and like... Yeah. Pretty much after all the amazing feedback on the fic Shades of Pink, I decided to make something about Bucky this time featuring purple. Sooo I hope you enjoy this and yeah... I love y'all. (Sorry that this does not have a keep reading break. Im on the app.)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes (Winter Soldier) x Pregnant!Reader

Warnings: hopefully is fluffy enough and mentions of childbirth and crowning.

Normal POV

"Can I pick the color, mom? Pleeeaaaaase??" Your son Braden says folding his hands together, begging to choose the paint color for his little unborn sister's room. You stood in front of the wall of colors in the paint store, looking at the blues.

"Are you sure you want our son to choose, Buck?" You ask your husband looking up at him. His attention averted from the colors to you to answer your question.

Bucky hummed in an asking tone, his blue eyes looking attentively at you. You were hesitant to let your son choose, and your husband was still overwhelmed with the store's color choices. In his head, any color would do, but your son had other plans.

"Daaaaad???" He whined again and Bucky just chuckled. Braden looked at the colors and Bucky did the same, "I promise it won't be blue..."

"I didn't say anything about blue, buddy..." he says, a smile crinkling his eyes and picking your son up on his shoulders, "Tell me what you like for your little sis..."

You looked at your husband and your son, their steel blue eyes looking for colors that they fancy. You thought about many things as they spoke about colors, and you laughed lightly along with them.

You felt like the luckiest girl in the world, with a beautiful son and the most wonderful man as your husband. You wouldn't trade them for anything, let alone you had another little one on the way.

When they found out you were pregnant, they were stoked. When they found out you're carrying a girl, they were over the moon. Frankly, more excited than you. It's not until two more months and they dragged you to choose paint colors for the nursery.

Bucky and Braden took good care of you. Looking for baby names, shopping for baby stuff, groceries and all. Braden stayed with you for the most part, as Bucky went on missions for weeks, making him witness most of the ultrasounds.

However, when Bucky was around for some of your checkups, he would always tear up and smile at the monitor that showed a vague look on your baby, as he did when you were pregnant the first time.

You saw them whisper to each other, exchanging giggles and suggestions that made you raise an eyebrow. You stroke your tummy and shifted in your place as you felt the baby kick quite hard. Bucky caught the slight wince of your face and his smile turned to a small frown.

"Are you alright, doll?" He asked worried. You gestured your hand at his question as you walked nearer to him, lacing your arm with his bionic one.

"I'm good, honey... The baby just did a little can-can..." you smiled, making him giggle. You leaned on his shoulder and his hand stroked your clothed belly, feeling your little girl move inside. He smiled looking at your belly then you.

"I like that one, Dad..." Braden points to the pale lavender shade. It was near white, but it looked soft enough for a baby nursery, "The purple one..."

"Our son is you, Y/N... He's got an eye for paint..." Bucky chuckled as you rolled your eyes at his statement. He put Braden down and you held his hand, him in the middle of both of you.

"Yeah, but he has hair like yours..." you giggled gesturing to your son's "boy bun" as he chose to grow it out like his father.

You got home and your son ran away with the paint brushes and paint rollers while Bucky chased him to the empty nursery. You walked slowly up the stairs to try to keep up with your two soldiers. Bucky's tall frame right next to your 5 year old son who is currently pretending to be you applying makeup with a large paint brush.

You wanted to join in all the fun, but Bucky and Braden refused. They didn't want you to inhale the chemical scent of paint, as usual. They barely made you do anything. You just watched them get paint all over themselves as they painted the wall in the beautiful shade of purple.

They completed the nursery in a week. It was clear that Braden made a mark as he picked out a space-themed baby mobile because he wants a sister that likes space as much as he does.

💜

"Bucky..." you croaked out as you leaned yourself against the low wall of the inflatable pool set up in you and your shared bedroom. The midwife watchful of you while you were on labor.

"I know, doll... You can do this..." He says holding your hands in his and joining his forehead with yours... "Like Braden, y/n..."

"It's okay, mommy..." your son says embracing your wet form. He held your face in his small hands, "You can do it..."

You smiled despite the fluctuating contractions. The water rippling as you breathed to distract you from the pain you were experiencing.

At this point, they were the ones making you feel better in the middle of this. Alpine was with you too, watching alongside Bucky as you tried to focus on your breathing.

Moments later, you felt a contraction that felt extremely painful, "She's coming..."

The midwife got ready and set you at a comfortable position. Bucky asked Braden to leave as your son reluctantly walked out of the room with Alpine.

Bucky held your hand as you squeezed his flesh one. With every push you made was another wave of pain. The baby slowly crowning as your flesh stretched around her. Screams and streams of profanities poured out your lips as the midwife instructed you to push and breathe.

"You're doing amazing, doll..." Bucky encouraged as he planted kisses behind your ear, the top of your head and shoulders. Beads of sweat formed all over your skin as you kept pushing as Bucky praised you over and over.

"Keep going"

"You're so beautiful, y/n."

"God, I'm so lucky to have you..."

"One more, y/n and she's out..." the midwife informed and you nodded quickly and she instructed you to push. One loud scream escaped your lips as you felt sudden emptiness in you, followed by the cries of your newborn baby girl.

The midwife handed her to you, wrapped in a soft purple blanket, "She's beautiful... Congratulations..."

You held her, skin to skin. Bucky looked at the both of your for a moment and he kissed you tenderly, "She's perfect..."

An exact girl version of your son, she had the face of an angel. Beautiful grey blue eyes, (y/h/c) hair, your eye shape, her father's nose and her smile, her lips flushed like that of her father's.

You smiled as tears streamed down his face, you giggled as your free hand caressed his stubbled cheek to wipe away his tears.

"She's all yours, Bucky..." you say softly and kiss cheek, "We're all yours..."

💜

"Can I hold her, mom?" Braden asks seated beside you as you fed her milk from the bottle. Bucky was away to go to the Tower to announce to everyone your baby is born. You told him he could've texted them but he insisted. He was THAT excited.

"Sure, Soldier..." you said as you placed your his sister gently in his small arms. He leaned back on the couch, his eyes twinkling as he saw his little sister's beautiful steel blue eyes look at him.

"Hey, Blakey..." He cooed to his sister. Making small babbles come out of her mouth. You looked at your children and smiled.

"You're an amazing big brother, Braden..." you said and he smiled brightly. You wrapped an arm around your son and rubbed his shoulder, "She loves you..."

"And I love you too..." Bucky said making you jump slightly. He walked over to the couch where you and Braden were seated as Nat, Steve and the other Avengers tried to fit in your living room.

"May I, Soldier?" Bucky asks your son, asking to hold the warm bundle in his arms. Braden obliged as Bucky carefully scooped your daughter in his arms. He leaned over to kiss you, he looked at her and faced the rest of the Avengers.

"Guys, meet Serena Blake Barnes."

A/N: I hope you liked reading this fic. It's the most extra I have been on my blog in so long and I apologize for the lack of page break. I use the Tumblr App. Sooo... yea... stay safe

-Alri

Taggies 💕

@luna4501 @witchymegg @theaussiedragon @likeit-or-leaveit @amisutcliff

[ashtonssdrumsticks-blog]

Broken Pieces

hello im actually feeling this so im gonna keep going with it! yolo ya feel? also, sorry if the chapters are short at first... i haven't written in a long time anyway uwu peace // update just changed the name im #soz

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DISCLAIMER!!

-luke uses vulgar terms! its the way he acts in the story!

___________________________

Chapter 1

"What the FUCK are you doing here?" my jaw hung low to the floor.

"Im moving back in, silly!" Luna said as she moved her excessive purple suitcase across my floor, leaving a clean scratch in my freshly waxed wood floors.

"Wh-what?" I managed to stutter out, still in shock at the sight of my crazy '"ex". I say "ex" because she isnt really my ex. I just fucked her a couple of times and she fell madly in love. Couldn't say I did the same thing. She only lived with me because I needed help with paying for my apartment while I was struggling with cash.

"Didnt you miss me, daddy?" she said while making a pouty face.

"Shut the fuck up whore and get the hell out of my apartment" I spat, making sure to empathize 'whore'.

"Remember when I used to make you call me that when we would f-" she almost finished her sentence but I was too overwhelmed to let her finish.

"I said leave."

"No can do, baby. We're going to have so much fun!" she dropped what she had in her hands and started walking around the apartment, touching things. I stared in awe, I dont know why she thinks she can do this. To help you understand further, heres a little backstory.

Horny 19 year old Luke wanted pussy. Hit up the club. Saw her. Wanted her. Fucked her. Went home. Fucked her more times. Spent all my money on alcohol and drugs. she moved in. We fucked more. Regained money. Kicked her out. Fucked more and more. Met the love of my lif-

"Hey baby... dont you think we could use more plates?" she walked out of the kitchen and looked down the hall at me, holding 2 plates up to her face, frowning. I looked back at her, in actual disbelief that she thinks shes staying.

"Why would I have more than two plates if its just ME who's living here..." I said, trying to give her a hint.

"Well if each person gets two plates... make it four!" she said cheerfully, while she skipped back into the kitchen. I could feel the anger filling up inside of me.

"You were nothing but a fuck. Why do you think you can live with me like we are married?" I spat at her as soon as I walked into the kitchen, gagging at the thought of being married to such a pathetic slut.

"I lived with you once... and you know, we had so much fun," she said while moving her eyebrows up and down at me. What a disgusting sight. "Also everyone

and their mother knows about your little sad love story and how that tramp broke your heart, so im just here to help you, baby." she added with a devilish grin. Her words cut like a fucking knife. She walked into my life when I didn't ask her too and she thinks she has the right to call the love of my- Iv- HER a tramp. I snapped.

"Get. The. Fuck. Out. Cunt." I spat at her while I held in my tears. She really didnt seem fazed at all while she licked the remaining peanut butter off her fingers she decided to dig into and headed up to the second floor.

[consistent-self-destruction]

detachment hours !!!

i can feel myself getting a headache and RAWHHH

what the FUCK is this mood and WHAT brand of mental illness is it stemming from because GRAHHHDSKDFNDSK

i feel like the word "manic" depicts this energy n mood perfectly, but im also vaguely aware that manic/mania are terms reserved for actual mental health conditions so to use them to describe my state would feel wrong and invasive but JUST for lack of a better word i'll use it for now with respects

so

HEY BAES XOXOXO

i have literally no followers on this blog LMAOO i'm literally talking to myself but it's fun ig

anywho so i think im losing my grip on myself and detaching from reality again lol

and it's weird bc people have described the sensation of detachment to me before but this doesnt FEEL like that, but it doesnt feel numb either?? it feels like my brain just running without any actual thoughts so that i dont break down. i dont know how to describe that??? like a moving hamster wheel going SPEED but like without the hamster.

and i just find EVERYTHING funny and talk out loud to my ceiling and myself and my stuffies, literal fucking inanimate objects

like my computer was being slow like a little over 5 minutes ago and i shook it in front of my face and went "you STUPID FUCKING DINOSAUR" and started GIGGLING to myself cause that meme is FUNNY AS HELL LMAOAOAO

im literally just talking and referencing dumbass memes to myself and laughing for no reason and feeling v silly v goofy in a gen z way that's just indescribeable and i just. i dont understand what this is.

- ive got a god tier depression room rn

- i havent showered in a couple days lol

- i havent been productive like i was and even tho im doing well in most of my classes i have like a 21 in english bc my teacher is overwhelming with all the google classroom posts and things get lost in the stream and it's just a MESS and very disorganized and that lack of organization and order STRESSES ME OUT and i lost track of everything in that class and im too overwhelmed to pick up the pieces

- dont even talk to me ab college i think i'll cry lol

- i just have no sense of time or deadlines, and im falling back into familiar patterns of just letting everything go and i know once i let go i cant pick it back up and i cant have lost it all already, the year just started

- i dont know what im doing !!! scared-

okay wait i just felt myself hold back a MAJOR sob so i think i WONT go into that anymore bc clearly that's a lot LMAOOO

anyways sitting down and writing calmed down some of the manic unhinged jumpy energy but

im still freezing cold for no reason, my head keeps ticking for no reason (no i dont have tourettes), i still feel that headache coming on, and im not gonna find motivation or a sense of direction any time soon and anyways im really fucked up rn and i think it's cause i spent like an hour or 2 just stalking people i knew from my old school because i miss them even tho they dont remember me and im fucking PISSED that my parents pulled me out bc i think i wouldve like myself sm better rn if i'd stayed.

okay not going into that either, i feel myself starting to cry there too LOL WTF

i just cant grip reality rn and i keep obsessing over things and people i cant have and the life i couldve lived bc i dont like the life im living now and i feel like i cant CHANGE the life im living now // so nothing's changing in the present and nothing will change so #ESCAPISM tingz, and staying in my romanticized past and indulging in what couldve been now // AND I CANT STOP AND I CANT PULL MYSELF OUT OF THIS ENERGY AND AHHHH

i dont know who to talk to about it or HOW to talk about it and how i could even get help w pushing out of this anyway but yuh

we're feeling #stuck #manic #COLD ASF #ticking #escaping reality and all that jaz asf

crying sobbing sliding down walls tbh

im not okay.

- 9:27 pm // 10.27.21 -